One Year Fading. Another Awakening.

 Almost a new year...

I actually created and published a completely different post to end this tired year, but it felt so cliché and impersonal so I scrapped it.

 Even though my off-line life is overflowing, sometimes my blog feels empty...or at least shallow. And what's the point of that? Why should I bother to blog if it's mechanical and, for the most part, meaningless? These are just my thoughts lately after reading about so many of my fellow blogger's journeys in the latest Artful Blogging magazine.

There are so many stories of unsure beginnings. Artists, who precariously stepped out into the world of blogging, with intentions of sharing their art, and instead found that sharing their hearts, as well,  opened up an entirely different world of freedom and creativity. How inspiring to read about a journey out of financial ruin or depression or any number of difficulties! In a lot of cases, they grew wings and now they're flying, because of the trial they came out of! How cool is that?! But it meant opening up and becoming vulnerable. Bottom line...just being real.  That's a scary thing.
Life isn't always pretty. It's not always as simple and lovely as the photos on our blogs depict.
And although I certainly don't want my blog to be a drag I think even in the midst of dark days there's opportunity for me to drop the facade (and my pride) and in the process, encourage someone else going through their own trial. If you've read previous posts, you know I've contemplated this before.

Enough contemplating. It's been a tough year and the new year, honestly may not start a lot easier for me, but I'm not without hope, I'm not alone and I'm pushing through. I sense God even stronger in the dark lately than I have on some of my brightest days. He's got my back. He's assured me of that.

So, I'm gonna try this post again.

2010...

It's been a crappy, wonderful year! We've had financial struggles, health struggles, family struggles, changes that have been good, but hard ones to make...And isn't that life? ...all wrapped up with the wonderful stuff? And I know God has good things in store for me in 2011. 

(Jer.29:11 ~For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.)

On that note I'll share words to a song by Sara Groves that pretty much sums it up for me perfectly. I hope  you have a blessed and safe start to the new year! 

As for me~ I'm looking forward to some take-out, maybe a glass of champagne and a quiet evening with the husband. How rare is that?! All three kids have plans with their youth (and college) groups from church. Now that's not a bad start to the new year, is it?

xx's ~Jen

Less Like Scars

It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it's

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like
Character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It's less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn't feel the power or the hope
I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you

And I know you're here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able

And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

And more like
Character