From Doubting to Dreaming

I woke up this morning to a heaviness. Doubts and fear about finances, kids, broken vehicles were ready and waiting to pound my peace into the ground.

Do you ever have one of those mornings? You go to bed content. Even joyful.

...Then you wake up the next morning with thoughts all tangled and depression, like a bully, hovering?  Kind of like that cloud in that depression commercial...you know the one? Only, I notice in that commercial that the cloud never really goes away. It just hangs back a bit, like a neglected pet or something. What's up with that?! I want that cloud gone! (Not to mention, I don't want to it possibly cause increased suicidal thoughts!) I can tell you from personal experience that the Master Physician can kick that cloud to the curb! He did it for me years ago and He did it again for me today.

And now I'm just sitting here thinking this morning; He didn't bring me the storm that we just came through (losing our house), but He brought me through it.... and I'm stronger than when it began (get this!) because of the storm! It's like spiritual weight training and He's the personal trainer.

On top of that He showed me color and life where I only saw gray. My eyes just needed to readjust to new landscapes.

I feared, and instead of scolding me, He protected me...

He will cover you with His pinions, And under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

Psalm 91:4

My feelings and the enemy of my soul lied to me, but The Lord valiantly fought on my behalf when I was weak. He whispered Love into these ears until I trusted Him again. He spoke Truth to my heart. I believe Him.

And I'm dreaming again. I told you in a previous post that My creativity was returning. Well, so has my dream to upcycle furniture and create things with my hands for more than just a hobby. Doing it as a business is something I've half-heartedly tried and thought about over the past couple years, but never quite had the confidence to throw myself into. Well, I really think that NOW is the time. My other job is not cutting it financially and THIS is what I really want to do!

Let me elaborate some. My husband and I were recently challenged at our church to help with a fundraiser for one of our church's outreach ministries called the Yellow Box. We could come up with whatever fundraiser we wished. Some people are detailing cars and giving oil changes, some are selling freezer meals, a dentist-friend of ours is giving discounted teeth cleanings...the list goes on. Whatever money is raised by February 26th goes to funding the completion of the Yellow Box remodeling, which in turn, will fund various missions and so on.  When we were given this challenge I knew that I wanted to use my love for upcycling old things to help fund this project....so I've been painting...and painting...and painting. And I love doing it. So I've prayerfully taken some time off of my very part-time job to test the waters. I may still work part time for a short while, but once it replaces my income, Lord willing, I'm going grow it so I can just work from my home.

So you may see some changes around here! I'm excited to share the work I've been doing! You'll also probably see some new pages...maybe even another blog, eventually. We'll cross that bridge when we get there :)

I'll post some of the pieces I've done below. You may recognize a couple of them, but most of them are things I've worked on in the past few weeks. I'll keep you posted as new pieces are created.

All of this makes me wonder...Would I even be stepping out on this limb to pursue this dream if I hadn't been uncomfortable and tried for a season?

Probably not.

Annie Sloan Graphite

Annie Sloan Old white and Graphite.

LOVED the natural crackles.

Annie Sloan Old White w/ dark wax. Graphite stencils

Annie Sloan paint and various acrylics. I did this in January.

Annie Sloan Graphite and Emporer's Silk w/ Dark Wax.

Annie Sloan Duck Egg Blue.

A wash of Annie Sloan Duck Egg Blue.

Annie Sloan Old White and Duck Egg Blue.

Annie Sloan Emporer's Silk w/ dark wax.

Mixed media piece I did last year.

Vintage wall birds. Repainted white.

A picture I took a couple of years ago and recently framed w/ this vintage frame)

Annie Sloan Old White

....Totally amazed by His grace,

~ Jen

Resting In Him

Closing eyes...breathing in...exhaling slowly... 
Opening my eyes and now and beginning the click-clicking on the keyboard.
Ahhh, it's quiet. Lately that's been a difficult thing to find around here.

To make a long story short: My husband hurt his neck, which caused him some seriously painful shoulder problems. It's kept him home from work and we've used up nearly all of his vacation pay in the past several weeks. (Ugh.) But thankfully, with the chiropractic care, the pain clinic and therapy it looks like he'll be able to go back to work next week. I just pray it continues to heal. God has been so good through all of it and has provided for all of our needs. Things like this will really show you how strong (or weak) your faith is. I can't say I've felt very good about how strong my faith has been. With half the income as usual, Christmas around the corner and bills that won't just go away I pretty much hunkered down and settled into a nice little depression for a while.

 Then I thought of when I first became a child of God about 11 years ago. Brand new and enough faith to move a mountain. And you know what? Mountains DID move back then! Well, they were mountains to me anyway. And I recalled the words to a song that got me through some really difficult times back then (and they were often). "I Will Rest In You" by Jaci Velasquez. So, I googled it and found the song again. Wow, it's been a while since these words calmed my heart. And they did all over again. Just a flood of memories of the times He's been faithful and delivered us from dark times before.
(Here's a link to the only video I could find with the original song in english.)

Lord, I'm in the dark,
Seems to me the line is dead when I come calling.
No one there, the sky is falling;
Lord, I need to know.
My mind is playing games again,
You're right where You have always been.
Take me back to You,
The place that I once knew as a little child;
Constantly the eyes of God watched over me.
Oh, I want to be
In the place that I once knew as a little child,
Fall into the bed of faith prepared for me.
I will rest in You,
I will rest in You,
I will rest in You.
Tell me I'm a fool,
Tell me that You love me for the fool I am,
[And*] comfort me like only You can,
And tell me there's a place
Where I can feel Your breath
Like sweet caresses on my face again.
Take me back to You,
The place that I once knew as a little child;
Constantly the eyes of God watched over me.
Oh, I want to be
In the place that I once knew as a little child,
Fall into the bed of faith prepared for me.


Anyway, I'm learning all over again how to rest in Him. And up until this evening it's been a big bunch of chaos around here. But I'm back now and look forward to sharing some upcoming posts and things I've been working on. Lot's of Christmas projects and lots of inspiration for beautiful handmade Christmas gifts and decor I've been seeing. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here!

Good night everyone! ~Jen

 

(Stormy helping me with my Christmas card photos.)